Typical Methods of Distance Learning for Medical Assistant programs and other schools include:

One-way video/two-way audio via satellite

Two way video and audio conferencing

Multiple user audio-only conferencing

World Wide Web-based access to educational programs

Internet and e-mail-based distributed educational programs

Online labs using innovative distance education technology (excellent for the Medical Assistant student)

A critical element of effective distance learning today is the learning environment. Interaction within that environment can occur by many technical means: e-mail, fax, telephone, two-way video. Interestingly, this interaction is becoming more asynchronous Qmeaning it doesn’t have to happen at the same time for all participants.

Medical Assistant distance edcuation is quickly becoming the norma and not the acception for the future generation of new Medical Assistants. The Medical Assistant that can integrate technology with their profession and on-going education is at a GREAT ADVANTAGE to the students studing in older classroom modules and settings. The next generation of Medical Assistants will be educated by distance education technology and will replace the older traditional classroom trained medical assistants. Detailed information about Medical Assistant distance education is now available at the St. Augustine Medical Assistant website: www.medassistant.org

Dr. Mark Stout, Physician and Dean of Education for St. Augustine School of Medical Assistants

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• An infant room will have one to four or six staff to child ratio
• A young toddler room will have a one to six or eight staff to child ratio
• For 2s and 3s room, an eight to ten staff to child ratio is average
• Children 4 and 5 years old average a one to ten staff to child ratio

Diaper Changing. There should be a dedicated area for diaper changing, equipped with sanitary diaper pad covering, disposable gloves, wipes and diapers and a dedicated waste receptacle for waste that is emptied on a regular schedule. Sick Policy. Most daycare centers will require that a child sent home with a fever or after a bout of nausea or diarrhea be kept home for 24 hours. While it inconvenient for working parents, it is the safest practice to prevent contagious illnesses from spreading within a classroom. Some centers may have a separate infirmary and onsite nurse or share the operating costs with other centers in the area. Discipline, Biting and Dismissal Policies. Find out how the center handles discipline and what the process is for misbehavior that affects other children, such as biting or hitting. As if there is an escalation process, what the coaching and dismissal policies are. You will want to know both sides in the event your child is the aggressor or the victim. Feeding. Some centers serve prepared food and some have families bring lunches and provide morning and afternoon snacks. Find out if the daycare providers will heat up food in your child’s lunches, if there is a refrigerator available, if they provide milk and filtered water for drinking and what kinds of snacks are served. Supervised Lunch and Snacktime. The center you choose should support your nutrition preferences and provide healthy options served in a clean, supervised environment. Staff should use the opportunity to teach manners and model good eating habits. Ask about the center’s policy on sharing food at the lunch table if your child has allergies. Toilet Training. Some centers will help potty train your child, others require that the child be fully potty trained by a specific age. Your center should reinforce good bathroom habits, including wiping, flushing and thoroughly washing hands. Some centers also add brushing teeth to the regular routine. Napping. Most young children benefit from regularly scheduled nap times during the day. Most centers will have young toddlers take a nap in the morning and one in the afternoon. Older toddlers and preschool age children may have one name in the afternoon after lunch. Ask whether you are responsible for bringing bedding or if it is provided. In the latter case, your child should have his own dedicated linens that are laundered each week. Parent Visits. Parent visits should be welcomed throughout the day, whether announced or unannounced. There should be observation windows available for you to observe your child’s day or you should be welcomed into your child’s classroom. Schedule. Hours of operation often play a key role in whether a center is acceptable simply by default of being available when you need them to be. Some centers have two tuition schedules, one for standard daycare (i.e. 9am ? 4pm) and extended daycare (i.e. 7am ? 6pm). Ask what the late policy is, whether you will have to pay on pick-up, if that payment must be in cash, etc. Safety and Peace of Mind. Does the center have controlled access, with locked doors after the usual drop-off times? There should be a sign-in/sign-out process to account for each child. When you register, you should be asked to supply emergency contact information for yourself and partner, two people who can be contacted and take your child if either of you are not available. Some centers will also ask for an out-of-state emergency contact in the event of a regional emergency, like an earthquake. Emergency Plan. If your area is prone to natural disasters like flooding or earthquakes, ask about your center’s emergency plan ? how they will notify parents, where their evacuation location is, if there is a lockdown procedure. Daily Status Reports. A daily status report will give you detailed information about your child’s day, including feeding times, diaper changing information and activities during the day. This is especially important for infants and young toddlers. Classrooms. Children love rooms that are bright, cheerful and full of visual stimulation created by creative artwork, children’s projects and family pictures. Classroom curriculum. Each classroom should be equipped with age appropriate activities, equipment and toys to stimulate your child’s development in fine/gross motor activities, sensory and cognitive skills, language development, number concepts, music and art. Bonuses and Special Touches Emailed Progress Reports and Photos. Many daycare centers are now emailing daily progress reports with information about activities and care routines like eating, napping and diapering to parents. Some centers also take photos of your child during the day and post them to an intranet you can access securely with a username and password. Extra Curricular Activities. On-site enrichment classes are usually an additional charge to the monthly tuition and can take place during regular school time or after school so parents can partake in the experiences with the child. Activities can include dance, gymnastics, martial arts, Spanish, basketball and computers.

About the Author For more great information about expecting and parenting, visit MomRecommended.com, a site for moms by moms. Annie Valle is a freelance writer, web designer and a mom. You’ll find product reviews, recipes, baby names, free projects and more, when you visit http://www.momrecommended.com.

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When interviewing your caregiver, remember you’re interviewing them for one of the most important jobs in your world ? caring for your child. Taking care of children is not easy ? you want to select a caregiver with a positive, nurturing attitude who will efficiently take care of your child and provide stimulating learning opportunities along the way. Wow ? that’s a lot to ask for, especially considering current caregiver salaries.

Here is our guide for interviewing caregivers and nannies:

List lifestyle and personal qualities important to you. Are there particular religious or cultural beliefs that are important to your family and that you want your caretaker to also have. This could include things like religion, cultural background, discipline beliefs and lifestyle.

Treat the interviews as if you were a corporation hiring a Vice President for your team. Ask her position on the topic and explain its importance and role in the upbringing of your child. If there are any concerns about work schedules or beliefs, you want to discuss it now before making a hiring decision. Using your list as a guide, ask questions about their personality, how they approach childcare and explore their commitment to the job.

Interview the candidate several times. You should meet with the prospective caregiver at least twice and have a spouse or friend meet with them for a second unbiased opinion. Prepare a list of questions in advance to make sure you get the important ones answered so you can make an informed decision.

Some key questions to ask when hiring a nanny or childcare provider:

• What is your discipline policy?
• How would you handle separation anxiety?
• What would a typical day’s routine look like for my child?
• How would you handle a child that has the flu?
• What would you say your normal disposition is?
• Is there anything that would affect your being able to come to work on a regular basis?

Always do a background check. The International Nanny Association reports that at least 5% of nanny applicants have a criminal record. They also explain that these candidates may gravitate towards answering newspaper ads or working with agencies who do not require a background check.

Ask for references. A good quality nanny candidate will have at least one or two people who can vouch for their character and past childcare experience. Ask the references why the nanny left their employment, if they would re-hire her and if they would recommend her.

Training in early childhood development. You should find out if the candidate has had education or training in early childhood development and why she is interested in working with young children. You want a caregiver who will stimulate your child with activities and experiences in music, art and play. A nanny with some knowledge of early childhood development will know what activities are appropriate for your child’s age and developmental stage.

Go with your gut. If your instinct gives you the feeling that something is not quite right, you’re probably unconsciously picking up on body language, attitude or just an odd feeling that makes you uncomfortable. Listen to your intuition, pass on the candidate and move along. It’s better to recognize your discomfort level now than constantly wonder whether you made the right decision.

Introduce the candidate to your child. When you’ve narrowed down the field, introduce your two final caregiver candidates to your child. Observe the interaction between the two. It may be hard depending on your child and how well they accept new faces, but a good nanny will know how to draw children out. If your child is old enough, ask them what they thought about each candidate.

About the Author

For more great information about expecting and parenting, visit MomRecommended.com, a site for moms by moms. Annie Valle is a freelance writer, web designer and a mom. You’ll find product reviews, recipes, baby names, free projects and more, when you visit http://www.momrecommended.com.

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Socializing

? Children love playing with simple pots, pans and wooden spoons. Give them some to play with, or buy them their own play set

? If you’re in the kitchen they want to be there too. Find a place that’s safe, but also allows you to engage with them

? When eating, have them sit at the table in age appropriate high chairs and booster seats

? Interact with children at mealtimes, even when just starting on solid food

? Create a stress fee feeding environment for your baby

Teaching

There are many lessons to be learned in the kitchen. You can start teaching very early. Cooking is a skill your children will use forever and you’ll create fond memories together. Even a baby’s early development can be taught in the kitchen:

? Colors and numbers ? have your baby count the numbers of apples you’re peeling and ask the color

? Vocabulary ? tell the baby the names of all your ingredients and ask her to repeat them

? Safety ? show them the dangers in the kitchen - what not to touch and why

? Agriculture ? where food comes from. How do fruits and vegetables grow? You may even consider planting a garden, so your child can see the whole process

? Table manners ? the use of utensils, saying "please" and "thank you"

? Following directions ? a recipe can help with reading comprehension and how to follow instructions

As your child ages, you can also teach them how to make family recipes and share with them about your own childhood and family mealtimes.

Cooking

Cooking does not have to be a major event if you do not have the time or energy. Many people think they can’t cook, but they prepare meals all the time. It does not require a recipe book or hours of time alone in the kitchen. You only need an imagination and a stocked pantry or refrigerator.

? Find a safe place for baby to watch you cook and talk to them to keep them interested ? always remember to take a break and spend a few minutes playing or hugging

? Interruptions will happen ? make foods that can be prepped easily or make meals in stages

? Allow children to choose foods and meals for the family ? they can take pride in the family meal and that they’ve contributed

? When age appropriate, allow children to help with tasks such as mixing dough, peeling vegetables, setting the table, making family name cards

? Children will spill and make mistakes ? be patient

Health and Nutrition

You want your child to grow up with healthy attitudes towards food and nutrition. They will look at what and how you eat for guidance. If you are always dieting and not enjoying food, you may pass along negative feeling about food to your children.

? Have them see you enjoying healthy foods

? Avoid foods that you do not want your child to eat. If they see you eating cookies, they will want cookies too.

? Avoid forcing your child to eat ? children will eat if they are hungry

? Introduce a variety of flavors and textures to your children’s diet

? Eat whole foods vs. "fast" foods

? Create a stress fee feeding environment for your baby

? Avoid bribing children with sweets

Food and Memories

Food can remind us of special occasions, events, people, etc. "Comfort foods" are those that make you feel good and often remind you of your past or childhood. Usually these foods are rich in flavor and texture (creamy, crunchy). We sometimes rely on these foods to comfort us when we’re not feeling well or want to be reminded of a special time or event. These foods may also reflect an ethnic heritage, culture, region and time. They may be time consuming to make, such as a Thanksgiving dinner or they may be quick and easy (Peanut Butter and Banana sandwiches)

Ask yourself "what are my comfort foods and why?", and "which foods would I like to become my child’s comfort foods and why?"

Lisa Barnes is the owner of Petit Appetit a cooking service devoted to infants and toddlers. She teaches private and group cooking classes to parents throughout Northern California, and is the author of The Petit Appetit Cookbook (Penguin, March 2005) For more information visit http://www.petitappetit.com

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Given these natural reactions, anything that you can do to prepare your other children for the new arrival will ease the transition. Everything you can do to involve your kids in advance and to get them to actually look forward to the birth will make a big difference in how they experience it. It might even help establish a stronger brother or sister bond with the new baby that will contribute to the lasting closeness of a positive sibling relationship.

Here are some simple ideas that expectant parents might try, to smooth the road ahead for their other children. Most are common knowledge or simply common sense, but sometimes too easily forgotten amid all the excitement and activity surrounding the birth of a new baby. A few might be new ideas that are worth a try. A little advance thought and preparation may go a long way towards making the “blessed event” a blessing for the ENTIRE family. Hopefully, you’ll be inspired to try some of these ideas, so here goes.

Let your other kids in on the secret as soon as the pregnancy is confirmed, well before it is obvious just by looking at mom. Even with your youngest children, try to give them some understanding of the changes that mom is going through and what they mean. Check out your local public library. It should have books geared to all different ages that can explain, in terms that children can understand, the biological process of having a baby. Picture books about baby animals may also help crystalize the concept and relate it to something your kids have already experienced, like watching newborn kittens, for example.

The library or local bookstore should also be able to guide you to works of fiction, including picture books for preschoolers, that focus on the arrival of a new baby in the family and such issues as jealousy and feelings of neglect. Quiet parent-child story reading times can provide an ideal opportunity to prepare young children for changes that are on the way and to reassure them of their own importance and irreplaceable position in the family. Discuss things openly and answer your kids’ questions.

Encourage your children to think about life with the new baby and how family routines will be altered. Coax your kids to develop their own lists of things that will be fun about having a new baby in the house - for example, they can push the baby carriage and help dress the baby. Help them think about all the things that they’ll be able to share with and teach the baby as he or she grows up and how important their role will be as a “big brother” or “big sister”.

At other times, let them focus on coming up with ways that they can help care for the baby or have them think of things they can do around the house to ease the burden on mom and dad. Also, take this opportunity to make your kids aware that babies require gentle handling and a quiet environment. You might even use a baby doll with your younger children to role play baby’s diaper changing and feeding.

Nurture the feeling that every family member is of equal importance and that each occupies a special niche and has special contributions to make. No one is being replaced by the baby and the family cannot be whole unless EVERYONE is a part of it. If your kids internalize this belief, you may be able to avoid some of the trauma and the understandable resentment toward this little stranger who has stolen mommy and daddy’s hearts. The better your children are prepared for the impending event, the better they’ll be able to cope with it emotionally.

As part of that preparation process, from time to time plan special activities with your kids that relate to babies. For example, they might draw pictures of babies or collect baby photos from magazines and create a collage. Sit down and go through photo albums of your kids’ baby pictures and reminisce with them about their own arrivals into the world. Re-tell any family anecdotes surrounding their births. Teach your children lullabies that they can sing to the baby, plus finger games and “peek-a-boo” games to entertain their new brother or sister.

Arts and crafts projects can furnish a special parent-child discussion and sharing time and may sometimes revolve around preparations for the new baby. Kids can make pictures to hang in the baby’s room, or create a baby-safe mobile to hang over the baby’s crib, or draw scenes in which they imagine their lives with the new baby - rocking the baby in their arms, and so forth.

Let the kids be involved in every facet of the preparations that you yourself are making for the baby’s arrival. Your kids can help you repaint the nursery or paint a mural on the nursery wall, and help you pick out baby furniture, bedding and nursery decorations. They can choose baby clothes that appeal to them. All of these things can later give the children pride and a sense of importance and inclusion in the baby’s life. When grandma says “What a cute bib the baby’s wearing,” your preschooler can say “I picked it !”

In addition, make your children key members of the family committee that chooses a name for the new baby. Keep the kids involved and actively participating and then, as the birth becomes imminent, dad and the kids may even conspire to prepare some extra, special, secret surprises for mom and the baby, like buying or creating a special keepsake item or putting together a “welcome home” party.

In short, it’s always worth the effort to do as much as you can to get your kids involved in and excited about the arrival of a new baby. Include them in every step of the process. The more they feel that it is THEIR baby, too, the more positive their attitudes will be towards the baby. In this way, you can try to minimize the natural insecurities and feelings of jealousy that go with the territory.

The suggestions mentioned in this article can help lay the groundwork for good sibling relationships but, of course, you can’t rest on your laurels once the baby is born. After the baby arrives, try to do everything you can to set aside some special time each day that’s just for you and each of your other children. Offer them special little treats or outings or surprises, and encourage grandma and grandpa to do the same. To reduce jealousy, give your kids pride in the things that they CAN do that the baby can’t do, like dressing themselves or enjoying a movie or reciting their ABCs. Continue along the path that you started on months earlier - reassure your kids that each of them is just as important as the baby is, so that they won’t feel that they must compete for your love and attention.

Good luck and oh, by the way, congratulations !

Visit Barbara Freedman-DeVito’s website at http://www.childrensclothingbabyclothes.com for baby clothes, children’s clothing and gift items decorated with her colorful and amusing artwork for kids. Barbara is a professional storyteller, teacher and artist.

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Everyone gets nervous and scared when it is time to go for a job interview. If you are one of these millions of people there is no reason to feel bad or ashamed. If you know someone who tells you that they are not fazed a bit, just remember that they are full of crap. Everyone is affected by interviews; some more than others. I am willing to bet a significant amount of money that even Gary Kubiak of the Broncos is going to be shakin’ in his boots when it comes time to meet with Texans owner Bob McNair. He is a formidable guy and I am sure that he will put Kubiak through the ringer when interviewing him as a replacement for Dom Capers. I am also willing to bet that Gary Kubiak will be prepared for the ringing and will stand up like a pro.

You too can learn to stand up like a pro. All it takes is a little know how. Learn some of the best interviewing secrets and you will be well on your way to scoring that dream job. With a little research and a lot of trying you too can score the big one like it looks Gary Kubiak is going to do with the Texans.

The first thing that you need to remember when going on any interview is to show no fear. It does not matter how you really feel inside. All that matters is what other people can see. If the interviewer sees that you feel uncertain or you are not confident they will have no option but to assume this is because you do not really know how to do the job. Stuttering and stammering never got anyone the job and you need to work on keeping these nervous signs to a minimum.

For some people the only way to learn how to interview and to get over these fears is to interview over and over again. That is fine, as long as you can pay your bills in the meantime. But the goal of this article is to help you get the job in the first few interviews, not the first few hundred. You can do it! All you need is a little determination, and when you feel yourself start to falter just remember Gary Kubiak and the Texans interview. If he can hold up in his situation so can you. If you believe in yourself that it will be evident to the interviewer, and that will also impress the heck out of anyone who is interviewing you for a position at their company.

One of the best interviewing tips that I have ever come across is not something that you will do when in the actual interview. It is something that you should do well before the interview. Visualize. Visualization has gotten me and many other people through numerous tough spots in life. What you do is go through the entire interviewing process in your mind. The whole thing; from when you get up that morning, to the drive in to when you hear your name called and before. Try to visualize the questions you will be asked and imagine yourself answering easily and smoothly.

Don’t just do this visualization exercise once, do it over and over again. At first you might even feel yourself getting nervous imagining the interview but the more you do it, the easier it will become. Pretty soon that interview will seem like a piece of cake. By the time the real interview day rolls around you will be full of confidence and faith in yourself and your ability to handle the situation. This kind of confidence is sure to impress your would be boss and it might even be what wins you the job position.

Who knows, that may even be the secret to Gary Kubiak and his interviewing strategy. Try it and you will see the truth in what I am talking about. It is easy and simple. Just try it before bed tonight and see how powerful visualization can really be as an interviewing tool.

About The Author

Joel Vance is a Human Resources 17-year HR expert who’s taught at 4 major universities around the country and currently has a best selling book on interview questions at www.theperfectinterview.com.

joel@theperfectinterview.com

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Parents are buying new book bags, school clothes, tennis shoes, notebooks, pens, etc., with the mistaken belief that this will help their child succeed in school. By mid-September the clothes will be dirty, the book bag will be torn, the new pens will be lost, and the notebook will have writing all over the cover. Additionally, those "in" sneakers will suddenly be "out" and the new "must have or I’ll die" pair will cost you another $125.

The back to school retail season is the second most important market for retailers ? a staggering $14 Billion is spend from mid July until mid-September to get our children ready for the new school year. Yes, it is important that our children have the right mind set for their new school year’s challenge. Certainly, they need to get off on the right foot and make a good first impression with the teachers. The question becomes ? what do parents do when the new clothes, shoes, book bags, and things become "old"? (Old in a student’s eyes can be anything over two weeks.) What do we give our children to help them for the rest of the school year?

Our gift is to teach our children how to take more responsibility for their education. It is essential that we give them the tools they need to succeed today, tomorrow, and for the rest of their lives. How can we get kids to "own" their education? If we show them how to set and achieve goals and how to use these principles in the classroom we will give them important life skills tools that they will use for a lifetime.

Teach Your Child:

1. No Vision = No Direction. Have them write down what they want to accomplish in the first 10, 20, 30 days of the school year.

2. Teach them not to Don’t Find Fault ? Find A Solution

3. Minimizing the Bummer Words: Show them how these six words that can hold them back from being successful - no, can’t, won’t, never, maybe, and if.

4. Coach your child that To Earn More they will have to Learn More, Think More and Do More

5. Stress the "I’ll Make It Happen" words: yes, I can, and I will.

6. Demonstrate to them the power of Eliminating Excuses

7. Show them tangibles examples of how to set and achieve goals. Give them examples for how to use goal setting in the classroom.

8. Help them to develop a habit to ask themselves each day: "Did I Give My Best Effort to Today’s Activities?"

9. Demonstrate the importance of Helping Others

10. FOCUS = Vision + Goals + Attitude + Action

Teaching your child how to set and achieve goals will make a positive, long-term difference in their performance in the classroom, in the workplace and in life.

John Bishop is the Executive Director of Accent on Success®, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping students succeed in the classroom and in life. He is the author of Goal Setting for Students® which has won three national parent book awards.

Please visit our website www.AccentOnSuccess.com for more information.

314-664-6110 jbishop@AccentOnSuccess.com http://www.AccentOnSuccess.com

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Although, road rage is inappropriate behavior, at any time, and can get you killed, most children who are exposed to it, will duplicate the actions of their parents, when they are old enough to drive.

So the first step, is to set an example and, possibly, use some of these ideas, for yourself. Studies show that anger causes atherosclerosis, the build-up of plaques in the arteries, that is a major factor in developing high blood pressure, heart disease, heart attack, and premature death.

Also, during a "temper tantrum," adrenaline and blood pressure levels rise beyond normal. This behavior is more dangerous to parent’s bodies due to the normal "wear and tear" already existing.

Now, you may be convinced that anger can kill you, but let’s look at one more factor. You could hurt someone else, find yourself in prison, or get yourself killed due to inciting violence against others. There are other people, who are having difficulty dealing with anger management too.

Back to our children: All children need exercise and they are naturally full of energy. Look at any other species, and you will see the same behavior. Should we drug our dogs, cats, and parrots, when they display youthful exuberance?

Children have to run, jump, and shout. So let them play in the back yard, in a park, and get them involved in sports, Yoga, dance, or martial arts. You will never regret letting your child enjoy life, constructively learn in the process, and just be a kid.

For all of us, there is a time to be quiet and a time to shout. Children need years to learn this, so let’s keep them active in the process. Keep them away from the television, Internet, and video games, except for "rainy days." Coloring books, board games, and reading are also good activities for rainy days.

A heavy bag is a great tool for letting anger out. You and your child can use it together. You can learn to punch and kick it, for the aerobic benefits, as well. If you have a friend who is a boxer or martial artist, you could get some pointers. After just a 20-minute session, I guarantee you, and your child, will have dealt with anger - there will be little, if any, left.

Teach your child forgiveness, through your own example. I am not asking you to let people "walk all over you." However, let grudges go; life is really too short to keep a feud going.

You can also control your child’s "circle of friends," just by getting him or her involved in, group activities such as: League sports, dance, yoga, or martial arts. The parents who have their children in these activities want the best for them and are willing to sacrifice their time, or money, to get it.

This will keep your child busy, happy, and active, with a pre-selected crowd of friends, who have parents that care. This is a "win ? win" situation and well worth the investment.

This is not to say that every child you run into, at these functions, will be perfect, but in the above mentioned activities, all of them are structured, adult-supervised, and rules for behavior are in place. This form of organization becomes a habit, your child will follow these guidelines, and bring them home.

Here is another idea that will help. Have your child take care of a pet or a plant, every day. Children love to care for animals or plants, but they still need supervision. The result of this will be, your child learns compassion.

Compassion will keep anger "in check" every time.

Paul Jerard, is a co-owner and the director of Yoga teacher training at: Aura Wellness Center, in North Providence, RI. He has been a certified Master Yoga teacher since 1995. He is a master instructor of martial arts, with multiple Black Belts, four martial arts teaching credentials, and was recently inducted into the USA Martial Arts Hall of Fame. He teaches Yoga, martial arts, and fitness to children, adults, and seniors in the greater Providence area. Recently he wrote: Is Running a Yoga Business Right for You? - for Yoga students, who may be considering a new career as a Yoga teacher.

http://www.yoga-teacher-training.org

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With the birth of my second son, my whole world changed. I moved into a new home, got a new car, made new friends. The biggest change, though, was internal. Suddenly, my head started listening to my heart a little more. My career and moving up in the corporate world suddenly became something I HAD to do, because I needed to pay the bills. Suddenly, I wanted what other people had. I wanted to stay home with my kids and take care of my family.

Wait a minute, who was this straight from 1950 woman taking over my brain? Was it post-partum insanity or had someone mysteriously slipped me some sort of anti-feminist drug? I was raised to believe that I was EQUAL to every man, in fact, maybe even a little better. I believed that I should not take care of a man, in fact; maybe he should be taking care of me. How dare anyone ask me to put my career on hold to raise children? I believed that my career should be paramount in my life, that I could and should HAVE IT ALL. I was certain that I could have my cake and eat it with a golden fork. And for six years, I thought I did.

I gave birth to my first son at the ripe old age of 22. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever had the privilege to lay my eyes on, but the actual birth experience was the most horrific thing I’d ever experienced. After 23 hours of induced labor, this boy came screaming into the world via a Cesarean section WITHOUT anesthesia. That’s right, surgery without anesthesia. Somehow the anesthesiologist had messed up, and the epidural had been pulled out of my back sometime before surgery. Talk about pain. Oh, and let me tell you, when they say you forget that pain, they LIE! I still remember every excruciating moment, almost 8 years later.

This traumatic experience produced the first genuine love in my life, my lovely Cameron. He has been a true joy and a real challenge since the day he was born. I often tell people about the first night he was home. Unbeknownst to me at the time, he had a pretty severe case of colic. I thought something was seriously wrong, because all he’d done since birth was scream, nurse, and sleep in 20 minute increments. I hadn’t slept for literally a week. While my husband snored peacefully in the next room, I held this beautiful, screaming thing in front of me, staring at his pinched face, watching as his little legs kicked at the air. I cried with him, I screamed with him, and God help me, I knew at that moment why parents shook their babies. Thank the same God for all of those commercials about shaken baby syndrome, because in that moment of insanity, I believe it’s the only thing that saved my son. I truly believed at that moment that if I just shook him a little, it might quiet the inconsolable screams.

Instead, I put my son down in his bassinet and walked out onto our balcony, taking deep breaths and trying to convince myself that I deserved a child, that I was not the worst mother in the world, that God did not make a mistake giving me this gift.

Cameron and I made it through that first night. Later that year, we made it through the separation and divorce from his father. Then we made it through several years of single motherhood with no child support and no daddy visiting. It was a difficult and painful time, but it gave me the kind of strength that nothing else could. Being a stay at home mom was clearly never an option at that time, since I was the sole support for our little family of two.

When my ex-husband dropped out of Cameron’s life before he was 2, I just stopped talking about him for a long time. Then, one day, my baby looked into my face and asked me where his daddy was. He said that everyone at his pre-school had daddies, and he wanted to know why he didn’t. I hoped this moment would never come. I didn’t really know what to say to a three year old to explain why he didn’t have a daddy, so I just explained that there were different kinds of families. Some, I told him, might have just a mommy, but others might have just a daddy or some grandparents. He somewhat accepted this idea, so I spoke to his pre-school to make sure that they were discussing these different types of families.

Later, Cameron and I went to counseling as the questions continued and my answers just didn’t satisfy him any more. This was when things became especially difficult, because the counselor told me that I needed to tell Cameron "THE TRUTH" of what had happened, or at least as much as the then 4 year old child could understand. I should tell him that his father and I were once very much in love and married, and that we had Cameron out of that love. I was to then say that his father had some personal problems and needed to be away from the family and that even though he had every right to come and visit his son, he CHOSE not to do that.

This, of course, was completely different from everything I had ever said about his father. I never said anything negative or even remotely identifying about his father. So, for awhile, I resisted telling him "THE TRUTH". I thought that it would hurt him more than help.

Finally, Cameron began making up stories about his "dad", saying he’d go visit on the weekends or that he might go stay there for the summer. The pre-school, knowing our situation, brought this to my attention. I figured it was normal for kids in our situation to do this, but I knew it was time to tell him what really happened. Our counselor encouraged me, saying that telling him would help him to understand that he and I were not at fault and that I would always be there for him.

So, one night, as we lay nose to nose in my bed, I told Cameron about his father, just as the counselor had instructed me. He asked why his dad didn’t want to see him and I had to tell him that I didn’t know, but that he was missing out on the best kid in the world. He asked if it was his fault and I told him that of course it was not, that his dad had problems and didn’t know what a wonderful boy he was missing.

Then we cried together. I held my baby and wiped away his tears as he wept for the father he couldn’t even remember.

And, we made it through that night, stronger than ever.

A few months later, I met Bill, who would later become my husband. He and Cameron took to each other immediately, and one day, Cameron asked Bill to be his Dad. Bill happily accepted, and they’ve been father and son ever since.

A couple of years ago, I learned that Cameron would soon have a new baby brother. Since we only had a two bedroom home at the time, we bought a new, bigger home to accommodate our new, bigger family. Our new neighborhood welcomed us with open arms. There were plenty of kids to play with and plenty of parents for Bill and me to socialize with.

I met my friend Lori a couple of months before our baby was born. Lori was a stay at home mom who lived across the street. We became fast friends, and when I went on maternity leave about three weeks before the baby was born, she was over almost daily. It was like we’d known each other forever.

Even though I liked Lori right off the bat, as I listened to her talk about being a stay at home mom, I thought her viewpoint was a little off. I even felt a little sorry for her, having such "outdated" ideas and all. Still, I believe that it’s important to respect other peoples’ opinions and choices, so I tried to understand.

Since my mom was raised during women’s lib, I was taught that women worked, just like men. Men and women were not to be put in "stereotypical" roles. Therefore, whenever I felt that someone was trying to put me in such a role, I would be offended.

When our second son, the beautiful Noah, was born, everything changed. Noah was different than his brother. First, he had trouble learning to nurse. Cameron had latched on immediately. Noah took almost a week to get it. It felt like months, and I spent several hours crying on the phone with La Leche League counselors. When he finally got it, though, he became quite dedicated to it. Noah’s little personality was quite the opposite of Cameron’s too. He was very laid back and only complained if he was wet, hungry, or tired. Now, this may sound normal to most people, but after having Cameron, the baby who could rarely be comforted, being able to "fix" the crying by changing, feeding, or rocking him to sleep was quite a luxury.

During my maternity leave, I found a website, flylady.net, which, along with my friend Lori, changed my perception of being a stay at home mom. Then, I read "Woman Power" by Dr. Laura Schlesinger. This book, although it has a misleading title, discusses the true power of women in families and relationships. It discusses the traditional roles of husbands and wives and why they might not be so bad. This was quite an eye-opener for me, and I highly recommend it to anyone in a relationship.

Suddenly, I realized that "staying home" with your kids and taking care of your family and home was NOT "not working". It was "working at home". Working for your family. What a light bulb moment! Taking care of one’s home was, in fact, blessing one’s family. It was a special and wonderful thing I could do for them. So, as soon as I was physically able, I started taking care of my home and family the way I thought they deserved. The change in attitudes was almost immediate. For the rest of my maternity leave, dinner was on the table each night at 6, the house was in order, and the laundry was done. The kids and my husband received loving care and attention daily. It was wonderful.

I dreaded returning to work, but I didn’t have a choice at that time. Bill had a decent job, but we couldn’t afford to live on just his salary. The first couple of weeks I was back, I tried to keep up the house and put dinner in the crock pot almost every night so that we could still eat at a decent hour. I was up late into each night cleaning and preparing for the next day, not to mention that my darling baby son wasn’t quite sleeping through the night yet.

Eventually, my habits slipped back into my usual work mode-eating out several nights a week, cleaning only on weekends, rushing around trying to "have it all", the usual. Bill and I discussed my becoming a stay at home mom, and agreed that although we both wanted it, we couldn’t afford it yet.

A few months later, Bill got a new job making literally twice as much as he’d made before. What a blessing! Life got a little easier as our financial state was much more comfortable. Still, I did not feel that I could quit my job. I felt tied to it and feared what could happen if I took the chance and left.

I worked 40 hours a week in the office, and many nights and weekends I brought work home with me. I felt like my work was taking over my life, and as any working mother knows, sometimes it feels like you almost have to do twice as much work as other people to prove that you are worth keeping around. I got a promotion and was promised more if I could keep up. I missed my kids, but having a strong work ethic, I kept up as well as I could. Every day, I secretly prayed that we would find a way to bring me home. Bill and I kept trying to figure out a way and kept finding reasons that I needed to keep working.

One day, I was called into the office and fired. I still don’t know exactly why, but I know this much: EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON! I believe that God knew that I would never take that leap of faith and leave my job, unless I was forced to do so.

Since I was fired, Bill and I decided that it was time for me to try staying home. So, I’m home. And, may I say, LOVING IT!! Once again, my family has a comfortable home, clean laundry, good home-cooked meals every night, and my children are being raised by none other than their very own mother!

Sure, finances are a little tighter than they were, but considering that we are no longer paying for daycare or after school care, gas and lunches and work clothes for me, it’s not quite as tight as you might think. We are doing just fine. I only wish that I’d had the courage to take the chance earlier.

It is amazing how one’s experiences can change her very core beliefs and values. My personal experiences changed me from a driven, career minded, woman who tried to have it all, to a driven, stay at home mom and writer who has all she wants or needs. I have my loving, well taken care of family and home, time to write, and great friends. What more could a woman ask for?

Angela McWilliams lives in St. Louis, Missouri and has two beautiful sons. She has been writing for 25 years and recently became a stay at home mom, which allows her full time access to both of her passions, her family and her writing. She can be reached at angieeigna@charter.net.

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